Haste to the wedding (II): the day

Where were we; oh yes, we were eloping to Scotland. Wow. It’s still a little scary to think it. And it’s getting even harder to write about. But here’s part two of the ‘haste to the wedding’ story, from leaving home until the end of the wedding day. And for those who don’t know the reason these posts are entitled ‘haste to the wedding’, it will become apparent, but only as you get towards the end of the text. [At an estimated 14-minute read, this post is nearly longer than our ceremony, but I hope you can bear with us. Or skim it. Or just look at the photos.]

Anyway, to recap from ‘haste (I)', it’s now the Saturday before the ‘big day’, and we were travelling towards Loch Lomond, Scotland but still weren’t quite sure if the location where we’d been planning to have our ceremony was going to work owing to a 500 ft climb.

We were just starting to get anxious that we’d set our wedding organiser (Cat of Fin Flükra, a member of the Wee Wild Weddings team) too steep a challenge in the 6 weeks we had given her to arrange our day. We were starting to think too hard… What if somehow neither of the locations we were exploring were practical? How wide was the jurisdiction of the registry office? Could we do any of it at our accommodation? What does airbnb mean by an ‘event’? How can one actually access Strathcashell point? Does Loch Lomond have tides? Or monsters?

And then, to our relief, the confirmation came through - Cat had arranged special permission from the forest ranger to drive at least a little way up the hill on the access track at Cashel Forest. Views over the loch suddenly sounded much more achievable. Mind by that point, we were less confident on having a view because we’d hit the ‘north’ (well, County Durham) and the weather was a bit more than wet; it was us driving through a very low, very soggy, very raining cloud, with visibility about as far as your nose.

It’s not that we’d not been fully understanding that holidays in west Scotland in September, or indeed at any time, are likely to involve a fair amount of weather (and we had a hefty bill from Decathlon for outdoor gear as proof). However, the rain finally seen after months of dry conditions at home had mainly come in the form of thunderstorms, and the thought of it being quite so continuously miserable for the next 2 weeks was a bit of a concern. We consoled ourselves by remembering that at least it might keep the midges down.

Then, almost magically, upon exiting the Pennines and travelling into Cumbria, there was a distinct edge to the line of heavy cloud, and the other side was bright. We descended towards the Lake District in the sun, setting the scene for a lovely two nights spent with relatives near Penrith.

The only thing making that visit a little tense was the need to keep the elopement side of things a secret, which was especially hard when we didn’t manage to keep the suit holder out of sight. Indeed, why would anyone bring a smart jacket on an ‘outdoor’ holiday!? The best we could do was some quick muttering about needing it for a restaurant. I’m promised after the fact that they didn’t suspect, but it was just as well the dress was safely tucked out of sight in its own special suitcase.

However, it was soon time to set off to reach Scotland, that is after getting one final bit of wedding paperwork completed from a supermarket car park en route - namely, making sure the registrar had the correct location for the schedule. As it turns out, once you’re away from a defined address or named location, it’s a 10-digit grid reference that’s needed. This actually works out as a 1 m square, and the somewhat amusing thought of everybody having to stand very close to each other (in reality, there is some discretion on the day anyway - if it’s truly wet enough to saturate the all important bit of paper, the celebrant is permitted to rush everyone to the nearest dry space to actually sign the thing. Like the back of the car!).

A not too long drive around Glasgow, and we were at the barn we were staying in, just in time to decant all the clothes and other sundries, and nip off round for a late afternoon ‘stroll’ to check out the ceremony location, just in case. And in fact it wasn’t just us checking it out, Sarah (Fotomaki Photography, a member of the Wee Wild Weddings team) had been able to get there by that day too. Although we believed her reassurance of how beautiful it was, and took on board how it might be nice to save seeing the place as a surprise, that just wasn’t us - we had to see for ourselves.

It is safe to say we weren’t disappointed. The first thing to great you is a pasture field complete with a small herd of belted Galloways! And also, as we’d worked out from the maps, there was the 500 ft climb to the viewpoint… which proved, yes, Scotland has a lot of up. However, several track switchbacks, a slightly boggy path and a meander through some heather and bracken, and we were at the spot we intended to use.

Oh my.

Not only a view of the loch, but across forest and fields to the mountains beyond. And if that weren’t enough, you were actually stood on top of a smallish heather- and bilberry-covered mound, which did nothing if not add to the fact this would be one hell of an occasion venue, quite literally you would be putting yourself (with the celebrant and witnesses - it was about 10 m across!) on a pedestal. Perhaps a somewhat exposed pedestal though (the weather by now was back to being suitably dramatic, with dark threatening-looking clouds, spots of drizzle, wind scooting around). But yes, this would work; it would beyond work. It was incredible.

So with a last-minute email to everyone just to note sensible shoes were required, that if the cows were still there, we also needed to get them in a photo, and to suggest a couple of tweaks to the ceremony transcript to reflect the location, all that was left to do before the day was collecting the necessary paperwork from the registrar, which you have to do in person. So next morning, we made the trip over to a village called Balfron.

Should you ever find yourself there, don’t confuse the registrar building with the next-door public toilets. Both have a rather rustic, dare I say even say ramshackle, appearance complete with much shabby chic wood and flaking paint. Eventually, it became apparent which was the correct building because it was the one with the ‘intention’ notices on the outside - two A4 sheets full of people for marriages, and two couples in total for civil partnerships (I guess it was reassuring we weren’t the only ones).

That collected, it was necessary to stop by Doyles Cafe, a few doors up, to recuperate. One rather delicious lemon drizzle cake and an iced biscuit so freshly made the owner didn’t have them out to sell as they were still too sticky, and it was time to forget about the impending tomorrow, and actually do some holiday, with our first Scottish walk, Conic hill.

Conic hill is a fairly steep climb, you get to ~360 m (1180 ft) at the top, and is not without quite a few other tourists, but there’s a good reason for that, a proper path and another one of those spectacular views - you’re can see right across a line of the islands of Loch Lomond in one direction and along the ridge of the highland boundary fault in the other. But there’s a even better reason to visit Conic hill. Highland cows. Lots of highland cows. I ❤️ Scotland.

The route down back to the loch was more tricky, and definitely had quite a bit of bog, especially at the point we somehow found ourselves following the stream and not the path. Scotland has a right to roam, which on the one hand is freeing, but I’m also not sure if that right doesn’t lead to the odd occasion of paths becoming trails forking in all different directions. It wasn’t ideal me drenching my walking boots with muddy goo when I’d need them for a wedding outfit the next day! Eventually we stumbled out of the woods back to the loch edge not too far from another known beauty spot, the beach at Milarrochy Bay, a super place to chill out in the sun and take in the views. And wash the mud off ones boots in the loch.

That night, the night before the wedding, we also managed to tick off one of those Scotland bucket list things in the pub at Balmaha. Having haggis while in Scotland (we don’t really need an excuse for haggis, but this one seemed legitimate).

So, anyway here we are, it was finally the day; the day of the wedding. I can’t even begin to imagine how stressful it would be if you’d had longer to think on it than 8 weeks. Of course, the plan here hadn’t been left to chance. Cat had provided us with a timetable, and we knew where we were supposed be and what we were supposed to be doing when. Mostly.

First things first. Breakfast. Outside on the picnic table. In short sleeves. What was going on; this was the second day in a row that was bright, sunny, still and warm. I have to be honest, I hadn’t really dared look at the weather forecast, what it would be was what it would be [we’ve been asked what would have happened if it had chucked it down, and the answer of course is we’d have had the wedding in the rain]. But never once had I imagined it would actually be… sunny.

Jenna, our make-up artist, was there shortly after breakfast, or during our second cup of coffee anyway, and by that time I was getting nervous. Silly really, but if you’re allowed to be emotional on any day, I think James and I can be forgiven here. Anyway, after suitably admiring what a gorgeous place it was that we were staying in, she proved her skill by somehow keeping me looking like me, only a million times better. To keep James busy, he was given the task of preparing thank you cards for those with us on the day. And having to do his tie up at least twice to get it approximately the length you’re supposed to have it.

Then Sarah arrived, and with her the suitably breathtaking flowers from the florist Briar Rose Design. The smell from them was divine (honeysuckle I could definitely see, not sure if there were sweet peas in the mix too, but whatever it was, very nice niffs; in hindsight, I probably should have taken the moment to get them in some water for a few minutes but I was too busy admiring them). Also there was the one extra I’d really wanted - a flower crown. This was nothing like the folk festival version though, the real roses and rose hips were a far cry from anything I’d ever worn before.

So remembering the gifts that we were to exchange at the ceremony, we set off on the few minutes drive to the forest’s car park in convoy to meet our celebrant Kendal (@kendalthecelebrant from the Scottish Humanist Society). As we said hi, I took one look at her and thought ‘arrggg’ as I realised I hadn’t picked up the schedule she’d need from where we’d carefully stashed it under a lamp base, and although really I knew James hadn’t either, I couldn’t help but ask in hope. Oops. We had to go back.

Top tip - write a checklist of stuff to bring with you on the day in advance, you won’t quite be thinking clearly when it comes to it!

Everyone was so so sweet about the false start [Kendal regaled me with stories of where the schedule had been left at a location somewhat further than a mile away]. It also gave me a chance to say hi to the post-wedding picnic people, who knew precisely where to set up having actually done a picnic there before (although they would not let me see what they doing while it was still a work in progress - I didn’t peek, I swear!).

Thankfully James returned promptly, with documents safely clutched in an envelope, finally ready to be handed over to Kendal. Ok, time to set off driving partway up that hill. The ranger had spotted us, and was even on hand to open the gate onto the track, and wish us luck too. There followed a few moments wishing for a four-by-four, but slow progress in a car was still faster and less effort than walking, and at last we parked up at the borrow pit.

However, of course we weren’t at the mound. I don’t know why - well, I partly do, it was because I was trying to go slow enough not to sweat (it was really too hot even for my special Niamh Designs denim jacket) - but the short walk seemed to go on forever. Maybe it was just because it was a bit weird James and I leading a small entourage up a hill in our wedding clothes (at least my boots had dried).

But we all arrived in reasonable order, and there was time for a moment. It really was a magical view.

I don’t remember all the details of the ceremony, it’s the proverbial all a bit of a blur. Thankfully, we have a transcript!

There was a bit of an introduction from Kendal on who she was, where we were, a bit of a story of our one of our first ‘dates’, which James hadn’t remembered at all until I told Kendal. Then there was a gift exchange, somewhat awkwardly conducted as there’s no spot to put things down out in the wilds, and by that time I had taken my jacket off, so no pockets.

My gift was fairly traditional, a special piece of jewellery from Sarah Brown Jewellery, a Scottish designer based not too far away on the island of Islay, whereas James got his new tin whistle, a brass affair from Killarney whistles. I couldn’t help but encourage him to give it a go, even if it was a bit off script for him to burst out into the opening bars of The Kesh jig quite at that point.

What was on script, however, was for him to play the Scottish jig ‘haste to the wedding’ (well sort of Scottish - in the Scottish tradition anyway) and the Irish polka ‘rattlin’ bog’ as a true musical interlude on the ceremony. [The word bog appears seven times in this post, there is a lot of water up in these parts!] It’s actually impossible to play the tin whistle in any sort of breeze, so we did have a back up plan, and had made a recording of these (with the plan to also use that in the event of James being overcome with emotion). But as it turns out, he aced them on the day (he says not, but I’m biased).

So as not to let the recordings go to waste, here’s a wee interlude in the post (the ceremony wasn’t long, even if me writing about it is going on more than I thought it would; I remember Kendal commenting once about making sure we still felt we’d got our ‘money’s worth’ if we were only making things quite short!! Not a problem as far as we were concerned):

Rattlin’ bog

Haste to the wedding

Then, the official bit, the signing of the paperwork, and pass the parcel with fountain pens and clipboard. Kendal ended with a simple blessing.

And that was it. Well, not it for the day, but it for the forever ever after.

[Just one more top tip to suggest here, this is the point we could have (should have) whipped out our mobile phone and made sure we’d recorded the scene from our view angle. But thankfully Kendal at some point (probably in the moment we first arrived) had used her mobile phone, which means we do in fact have a snapshot of both Sarah and Jenna, who were doing double duty by acting as our as witnesses. You guys won’t be forgotten by us.]

Then there was a little time for a few more photos. I don’t think I need explain how skilled Sarah is - I think that’s apparent. Although there was one where we were asked to ‘cuddle’ and move closer, which almost resulted in a photo of the two of us falling over. You guessed it, there was a bog under our feet!

Another careful drive back down the track, a thumbs up to the ranger to indicate it had all happened, no last-second wobbles, and time to chase the belted Galloways. You never know with cows if they’re going to be there or not, and they hadn’t been around when we first arrived in the ‘without the forms’ moment. However, even from the ceremony hill, we’d spotted that they were back, even if no one else had.

Sorry Sarah, we know the adage ‘never work with animals’ but “look at each other” was not going to work at that moment, James and I both know if there are cows, we’ll keep getting drawn back to look at the cows.

The last ‘external’ part of the day was really easy - to enjoy the picnic styled by Scottish Wild Picnics with more of the stunning flowers. And Cashel Forest excelled for a location for that too, with a secluded picnic bench tucked away in the shimmering sunlight of a forest glen next to the waterfalls of Cashel Burn. The picnic seemed enough to feed ten, but particular goodies included the venison chorizo from Great Glen Charcuterie and smoked muscles from the Argyll Smokery. And the cheese, and the cream tea in a jar, and the shortbread… (and bits from Tunnocks).

All the delicious leftovers were packed and up and delivered to us back at the barn we were staying at, then taken around with us for the rest of the Scottish minimoon.

What’s left to say but thank you very much to everyone from the Wee Wild team, Kendal, Jenna, Cashel Forest Trust and all the other small businesses (links have been given) who helped us pull this off. It was all we could have ever imagined, only it was also sunny.

Oh… and to mention, yes, we did indeed ring our immediate family on arrival back at the barn, virtually sharing a glass of Champagne. Yes, we’re still on speaking terms after giving them the surprise news (by that, I mean they are all very happy for us).

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Extra shots

• 2019 article suggesting elopements were on the rise even before the pandemic
  https://www.harpersbazaar.com/uk/bazaar-brides/a27054966/elopements-are-on-the-rise/
• Success in the legal fight to allow all couples to have a civil partnership
  https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-44627990
• Legal fight couple have their civil partnership. Explains some differences between civil partnerships and marriages
  https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/dec/31/couple-who-won-battle-to-open-up-civil-unions-register-partnership

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Credits

Pictures from Sarah are marked as copyright of Fotomaki Photography, and are used with permission. All other photos are our own.